كتــــابٌ قـــرأتـــه !!!!

في رحـاب كتـاب..
"رحلتي من الشك إلى الإيمان "
للدكتور : مصطفى محمود


بما إنني من عشاق المطالعة..
أود هذا المساء أن أتحدث عن كتاب قرأته مؤخرا ,وأن أسجل رأيي حوله..
انه كتاب عتيق وقديم.. قد ألفه كاتبه فـي الثمانينات أو
السبعينات من القـرن المنصــرم - لست أذكر حقا- .. ولكني أعرف تماما أنه نال إعجابي.
وغم أنه ألف منذ أكثر من عشرين عاما , إلا أنني لـم أحظ برؤيته سـوى مؤخرا.. فحمدا للــه على إيجاده ومن ثم مطالعته ولو بعد حين...

حسن, لنبدأ بتسجيل رأيي عن هذا الكتاب..
إن رأيي الشخصي عن هذا الكتاب و الذي هو: من تأليف الدكتور مصطفى محمود
والذي أسماه: ((رحلتي من الشــــك إلى الإيمان)) -
رأيي هو: أنه كتاب رائع جدا,

و يحمل الحكمة بين دفتيه وعلى صفحاته... انه حقا كتاب يستحق
القراءة.. ولا غنى عنه لكل مثقف أو لكل محبي المطالعة.
وأود أن أتحدث هنا عن بعض النقاط التي استوقفتني في ذلك الكتاب حينما كنت
أطالعه بنهم صفحة تتلوها الصفحة.. وطبعا قبل ذكر تلك النقاط , أود الإشارة إلى
أن هذا الكتاب بالرغم من بساطته فى طرح المسائل العالقة .. المسائل التي تهمنا
كبشر إلا أنه عظيم وشرح التفاصيل, رائع بطريقته التي يلفت فيها انتباه القارئ..
وأوافق المؤلف -د. مصطفى محمود- حين سمى كتابه: رحلتي من الشك إلى الإيمان ,
ولم يسمه ب: رحلتي من المسيحية إلى الإسلام.. ذلك أن الإسلام هو دين الفطرة..
وهو الدين الأول لكل البشرية حين يخرجون إلى هذه العالم و يولدون.. فحين
يولدون, يولدون على الفطرة..نعم,ذلك هو رأيي.. بأن الإسلام هو دينهم الأول
والفطري الذي يجبلون عليه ,ثم بعد ذلك فآباؤهم وأمهاتهم يهودونهم أو ينصرونهم
أو حتى يمجسونهم.. وتلك حقيقة مؤلمة يغفلها كثير منا..- للأسف الشديد-

وأعود إلى النقاط التي استوقفتني في الكتاب حتى جعلتني أتمنى لو حصلت عليه أو
يكون بين يدي قبل عهد بعيد.. وذلك من كثرة ما شدتني كلماته حتى لمست الروح
والفؤاد معا.. وأسرتني معانيه, يا اللـــه, لقد استوقفني د. مصطفى
محمود حين ذكر إن دراسته للطب قادته إلى الإيمان... أي أن العلم قاده إلى
آيــــات ربه ,في الكون.. والإعجاز تلو الإعجاز مما هداه إلى الإيمـــــان..
استوقفني أيضا كيفية تقسيمه الكتاب الى فصول , وسمى كل واحد باسم يشدك رغما عنك
, و بقوة يميــلك إلى قراءته ومعرفة مضمونه - طبعا بسبب فضولنا البشري الذي
جبلنا عليه - , وأروع فصل بالنسبة لي كان باسم : ((ماذا قالت لي الخلوة)),
رغم إني أرى أن كل فصل فى الكتاب أجمل وأهم من غيره..

سبحـــان اللــــــه..

فـي الفصل المسمى : ( ماذا قالت لي الخلوة),
استوقفتني كلمات الرجل وعباراته
أكثر من مرة , حتى أني وضعت خطوطا ملونة على كل ما شدني من كلمات.. لأعلم عليها
- علني أجدها بسرعة حين أحتاجها - حتى ملأ القلم الفسفوري كل الصفحات.. ^_^


كما استخدمت أيضا القلم الرصاص لأعلم على الجملة حين تكون
طويلة جدا وتأخذ الصفحة كلها , وذلك شفقة بالكتاب كي لا يتشوه كله بالتلوين,
وفى الصفحة لثمانين ,فصل: ماذا قالت لي الخلوة , كما ذكرت آنفا بأنها اقرب
العناوين إلى قلبي.. ففي تلك الصفحات يذكر الدكتور الكثير من الأشياء التي
لطالما تساءلت بشأنها وحدي؟؟..من الأشياء التي يتحدث عنها مثلا: أن كم هو الكذب
متعدد ومتنوع يأخذ أشكال عدة فــــي حياتنا.. حتى أخذ منحى عريض حيث لا يتوقف فقط
على اللسان, بل يتعدى إلى أكبر و أكثر من ذلك بكثير .. فقد يكون الشخص كاذبا
دون أن ينبس ببنت شفه؟... لأنه فقط, يجعل طريقة لباسه أو مشيته -كما يقول-
أو حتى تسريحة شعره, أو , أو , أو ..الخ , يجعلها تتـــولّى أمر الكذب عنه, وفى تلك
النقطة بالذات, حين ذكر المكياج على وجه المرأة .. من بودرة وأحمر شفاه, وكحل,
وريميل, ورموش اصطناعية, وحتى الشعر المستعار, يصفها الكاتب وكأنها تبعد
الحقيقة نوعا ما, أي تأخذ شكلا من أشكال الكذب... فـي تلك النقطة بالذات همست فى
أعماقي ان الحمد للــه رب العالمين, لأني حتى الآن لست من المعجبات بالمكياج,!!!
لست أحب -حتى الآن-
هذه الألوان التي يضعنها الفتيات والنساء على وجوههن -على حد سواء-!!!

استوقفني الدكتور مصطفى محمود أيضا حين تحدث عن تخصصه فى مجال الطب.. حين
تكلم عن جسم الإنسان, وكيف خلقه ربه؟.. ومم يتكون جسم الكائن البشري؟ , وماهية
الروح؟ .. استوقفني حين قال: ( كن كما أنت وسوف تهديك نفسك الى الصراط )...
كذلك حين قال : (وإذا خفيت عنا الحكمة في العذاب -وهو يعني الابتلاءات فى حياة
الإنسان - أحيانا فلأننا لا ندرك كل شيء ولا نعرف كل شيء, ولا نرى القصة الا
تلك المرحلة المحدودة بين قوسين -التي اسمها : -الدنيا- )-...
وأعجبني جدا
قوله: (والفضلاء من جميع الأديان على دين واحد)..
وأروع من كل هذا وذاك قوله:
(وإنما تبدأ عبادة اللــه بمعرفة اللـه ومقامه الأسمى , وتبدأ معرفة اللـه بمعرفة النفس ومكانها الأدنى ).
يـا اللــــــه !!!!

ما أجمل تلك الكلمات.. وما أروعه من وصف دقيق لجلال رب الكون عز وجل , و مكانة
العبد.. ذلك الإنسان ..
يعطينا إياها رجــل قد حباه اللـه بالحكمة ونور البصيرة ..

ما شــاء اللــه, و وتبارك اللـه أحسن الخالقين..

في الختــــام..
أستطيع القول بأن هذا الكتاب انضم الى قائمة الكتب المفضلة لدي..

ولقد أثر في أيما تأثير .. إنه كتاب مشوق -فى رأيي- , كتاب يستحق من دون مجاملة كل دقيقة
يمنحها القارئ من عمره ليتصفحه.. لقد جعلني بل دفعني لأن أعبد ربي أفضل من ذي قبل..

حثني الكتاب لأن أعبد خالقي جل و علا عن حب... نعم أعبده عز وجل على مبدأ
المحبة.. وعلى مبدأ المحبة أطيع أوامره وأنتهي نواهيه.. لأن ربي سبحانه وتعالى
هو الحبيب الأول في حياتي....





صنعــاء - اليـمـــن
29 ديسمبــر 2009

When You Say You Love Me

I adore this romantic-song words "When You Say You Love Me" ... Adored from the first time I heard it by  Josh Groban's voice. I really truly fell in love with that song's lyrics. I found it so sweet, comes from the bottom of the heart. It's truly meaningful, so special, and so sweet song. Seems that I never ever got bored to listen to, over and over again

..

Of course if I knew how to put the audio of the song here, without doubt I would sure happily do that. To let everyone listen to that very sweet romantic song. As I let everyone read those very heart touched lyrics in the same time. But, unfortunately I have no idea how to do that

..

Any ways, All I want to say is that: I'm sure there's millions of millions of  love-songs around the Globe no matter in which Language they're. But there's nothing will be like this song. Sometimes, the only thing that matters in any art, is how much the music of the song can enter your heart and effect on you in deep down inside, or even can touch you in the same place. Some times people adore music without knowing even or understanding the lyrics of the song, or what the meaning of the song, and that's what they mean when they say

"MUSIC-LANGUAGE HAVE NO-BOARD"

"MUSIC-LANGUAGE IS GLOBAL LANGUAGE"

That's why some music can touch our hearts and some others can not

That's why i decided 2 talk here tonight on my Journal-page

That's why i just liked to put One of the sweetest Love-Songs I've ever found until tonight
Although I know it might be thousands of thousands of other Love-songs around the Planet
..

However it was, New ones or even Old

However they're Western ones or even Eastern

For me, It only matters how can music make you feel

Today I'm presenting this "so very close song of my heart" Today I would like to put this lyrics here, with my deeply hope, to make someone like it, go ahead and look for it through the youtube, and start to listen the song, with reading the words carefully, to understand what lyrics sayis and means

With My Love

Sam Binzoa

Sana'a - Yemen

**

"When You Say You Love Me"

By: Josh Groban

Like the sound of silence calling

I hear your voice and suddenly

I'm falling, lost in a dream

Like the echoes of our souls are meeting

You say those words and my heart stops beating

I wonder what it means

What could it be that comes over me

At times I can't move

At times I can hardly breath

When you say you love me

The world goes still, so still inside and

When you say you love me

For a moment, there's no one else alive

You're the one I've always thought of

I don't know how, but I feel sheltered in your love

You're where I belong

And when you're with me if I close my eyes

There are times I swear I feel like I can fly

For a moment in time

Somewhere between the Heavens and Earth

And frozen in time, Oh when you say those words

When you say you love me

The world goes still, so still inside and

When you say you love me

For a moment, there's no one else alive

And this journey that we're on

How far we've come and I celebrate every moment

And when you say you love me

That's all you have to say

I'll always feel this way

When you say you love me

The world goes still, so still inside and

When you say you love me

In that moment,I know why I'm alive

When you say you love me

When you say you love me

Do you know how I love you

بــاقيــة أنــت ياغـــزة

باقيـة أنت
باقية أنت يـا غـزة
صــامدة أنــت
صـامدة أنــت يا غـزة

باقيـــة أنت
باقيــة أنت في بــالي...
باقيـة أنــت .. في صحــوتي ومنامـي

باقية أنـــت يا غــزة
رغـــم كيــد الأعــــداء
باقيـــــة أنـــت يـــا غــزة
رغــم خيـــانـــة الأشقــــــاء
بـاقيــــــة انــت ولا تبــالــــي
صـــامدة أنــت.. شــامخـــــة أنـــــت

وأحــداث العـــام المــاضـــي
لـم تبارح واقعي يومــاً ولا خيـالـي..
أتذكر الحــــدث وكأنـه بالأمـــس
أتذكـره رغم مضي عام عليــه !!

آه كم بكيت
آه كم ثـرت وانتحبت
آه كم دعــوت ربي وصليــت
كـم انتفضت و رحـــت أسيـــر على غير هدى..
فقط لأني أبـالــي

آه كم بكيت
واعتصرني الهم فوق همي
وشعرت بعجز مرير يكبل كياني
تألمت
ولكن هل شفع لي تألمي وبكـائي؟!
هل غيّــرت من واقع حال أحبتي في مصابهم؟!
هل ساهمت في وقف نزيــف غـــزة
هــل قللــــت من جراحهــم؟!

هــل انتقمـــت ممــن أقام المجزرة
أم اقتــــدتهــــم إلـــى المحــاكمـة؟!
ليأخـــذوا جزاء فعلتهـــم الشــائنة؟!

لا لم أفعــل .. ومهما فعلت ومهما كتبت
فلا يعبر حتى عـن معـانـاة واحدة
ليتيـم فقد والديه,لثكلى فقدت أولادهاأو حتى أرملة !!

فمــاذا تــراي أقــول؟!!
مــاذا أقــول سوى حسبي الله
حسبي الله كافي كل مظلوم ذي حاجة طارئة
سيثــأر لهم ربــي عاجلا ام آجلاً
سيـأخــذ لهــم ثأرهم..وتلك مفخــرة

ثم حسبي أن التاريخ سيكتـب كـل شـيء
سيكتب التاريخ دون زيف
الأحـداث على التوالي
وسيفضـــح يومـــاً
كل من تــآمر على غـزة
من قادة أمتـي واحدا خلف الثـاني

التاريخ سيظل
أعظم شـاهد على مجزرة غــزة
وسيكتب ..
سيسجــل التأريخ دون رحمة
سيكتب التاريخ كل المآسي
أثق به انا..
والشك أبداً لا يســاورني

والآن أحـــاول
أحاول بجهدي أن أقول:
في حـق أحبــة لي هنــاك
أنا لم أنسكم
أنا أحمل الجراح مثلكم
أنا وإن أبعدتني الأقدار فتلك روحي حولكم
إليكـم يا جنــد الله
أكتــب كلمــــــاتي..
كي تكون أوسمــة من حــروف
أنقشها على شاهـــد مقبرة الشهداء

هي عهـــود مقدســـة
ملونة بدمـــاء الرجــال الشرفـــاء
أحيكهــا على أكتاف حماة كرامـــة نجبــاء

هي تيجــان صاغها وجـــداني
أضعهــا علـى تلك الجباه التي تسجد للرحمن
لأعبــر عن مـــودة أحملها فــي فـــــؤادي
وإخـــلاص يكمــن فـــي أركــان روحـــــي

إليكم يا جند الله تحيــاتي
فالسلام عليكم يا إخوتي في الدين وفي العروبة
سلام عليكـــم جميعـــا أحيـــاؤكم وكذا الشهــداء

إليـكم يـا حمــاة غـزة البـواسل..
إليكـم يا جنــد الـرحمــن
جميع شعبي في ارض فلسطين
إليكم تحياتي
واحترامي
وتقــديــري

إليكــم
يا شعبي الأبيّ المناضل
يا حراس الأقصى المبارك
أرض الـديــانــات الثـــلاث
أرض الإسـراء والمعراج
إليكم محبتي
وإخــلاصي
وجـــل وفـــائي
إليكــم دعواتـــي
إليكم يا جنــد فلسطيــن دعـــواتــي
إليكـــم يا حمـــاة كــرامة الأمـــة
يا من هـــم في المياديـــن مشـــاعـــل

إليكـــم كلمــاتي
وعبــاراتي من أعمــاق فـــؤادي
أرفقهـــا بأعظم أمنيــاتي..
بأن يرزقنــي الله ويكرمني بلقائكم في ارض الرســالات


وأقـول من جـديـد
لغـزة الحبيبـة أقول من جديد:


باقيـة أنت
باقية أنت يـا غــــزة

صــامدة أنــت
صـامدة أنــت يا غـــزة


باقية أنـــت
بـاقيــة يا غــزة
رغـــم كيــد الأعــــداء

باقيــة ياغـزة
رغــم خيـانــة الأشقـــاء

باقيــة أنت بإذن الله ياغـزة..
باقيــة أنــت ولا تبــالـــي


بـاقيـــة انـت..
صـــامـــدة أنـــت
شــــامخــة أنـــــت
ولا تبالـي

بكـل المتآمرين.. لا تبالي
بــاقيــة أنـت بإذن اللـه.. باقيــة أنـت بإذن الله
بـاقيــة بإذن الله يا غــزة.. ما بقي الليــل والنهــار



***
الإهــداء:
أهــدي كلماتي هذه إلـى حـمـاة غـــزة..
أكتبهـافي ذكــرى المجـــزرة..في ذكــرى مذبحة أهــلي هناك,في غـزة..
وأقول: رغــم الخـراب,والــدمـــاء..
وكثـرة الشهـــداء..
إليكـم أيها الأبطــال تحيـة النصـر..
لأنكم دحرتم الأعــداء,
لأنكم كسـرتم بفضل الله شوكةالأعـداء..
ومرغتم أنفه بالتراب وأذقتموهم بفضل اللـه هـزيمة نكراء


صنعــــــــــــاء
26 كانون الأول/ ديسمبر 2009
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"In Hell"

This movie, called In Hell

is a very painful movie, that affected on me in a way or another. After finishing watching tonight, that movie made me wonder, asking myself a lot of questions. Questions that make a huge difference, answering a lot of confusion situations which I've been wondering about, asking always why all that happening out there in the United States. Of course the movie drove me to write some thoughts about it's subject right here, but I confess that I took it as a life lesson. I took it as a kind of a reality facts and events. Kind of "Serious" living in hell. For me, it was not just a movie I saw. It was more than that. It wasn't just a movie to watch during the weekend, having some fun with. No, at all!!!! For me, that movie was far away from something called "fun". Yes, I had many life lessons through In Hell. But with all those tears I was weeping, I've got my lesson of  "How Life Goes On In Jails" .. Oh!! God, It was totally hard for me, to complete watching that movie til the last scene. It was so hard really, to continue watching til the end, but I had to. Because it was like so painful life experiences, facts, and hard bearing moments that might happen with human being

And the bleeding scenes were like a "real life's prison events"... They were much more than what I used to  handle with. For me, it was like a very hard lesson which leads you, or takes you to know some thing about that hidden part of life. The "INSIDE PRISONS" life, or you can imagine it going inside your country as an Arabic or Muslim person to call: The "INSIDE THEIRD WORLD'S JAILS" life.. There, where you get the opportunity, like no one else, to see the ugly truth of the ugly sides of human kinds. There, where's no one tells about the whole stories that prisoners live and go through daily. There, where's no one tells about those Unfair treatments that prisoners face inside prisons from some "dead soul" prison-keepers. There, where no one can get the chance to record what is going on with them right there??!! right where they're, alone, with their bad luck and hard fate. There, where those innocent prisoners lives in dangerous 100 percent. Innocent people, whom went jail unfairly. There, where there's no mercy for people whom staying in jail like them. Although they did nothing at all, to deserve a single bad treatments like what they face from the prison keepers. There, where's nothing called "WITNESS" to tell about what's going on, and how soldiers treat them like trash. Never rescue anyone of them when they suffer a lot of injury, because of abusing and harm

That movie made me go so far inside their souls, those prisoners souls. Dive deeper in to their humanity. How experiences like that can totally change good people, killing everything seemed good inside them. How injustice cases with careless lawyers can put a lot of innocent people in jail. How they might change forever after that, when they came out, back into the freedom life out of jail

That movie taught me a lot in nearly 2 hours of life lesson. It taught me how those innocent people whom had been in prison injustice could suffer a lot. Of course, I wont deny that it reminded me too, All about The real hell of "GUANTANAMO" .. As it taught me how long can person hang on there with having no freedom, having no space to breath normally, and having no privacy!! It taught me how some people tend to be patient with all harmful they face, damages they get, and ugly behaviors they live with from the other bad prisoners, or from The JAIL COMMANDERS ..Those jail caps "whom are too Devils, wearing a human beings faces. Those very ugly jail keepers, whom have no mercy toward those people in jail. Those devil souls, whom always treats prisoners with disrespect, down easy to lose their honors.. Those kinds of jail keepers whom are likely to be wolves than to be human beings, Because they think that being like that might earn them  more respect, while they're losing their spirits inside those prisons

Oh God

That movie gave me many ways of different thinking. Many ways of earning wisdom. It gave me different lessons of how it would be like, living in jail unfairly???!!! OMG!!! That movie gave me a hard lesson about how shocked, disappointed, ugly, and cheap is, when some one betriads his friend, becoming "a spy", cheating all over, spying on people whom believed in his friendship and trusted him. Turns to be an asshole, wearing double faces, to be exactly where he belongs to be. "A very cheap CHEATER

OMG!!! that story truly was living in "REAL HELL" But the most painful part which made me cry, feel sad and be in pain for a while, was imagining The same things like those movie scenes happening inside our Jails, inside our Arab world's Prisons. Wherever you go, or wherever you turn your destination to "OUR ARAB COUNTRIES" With No chance at all, to record even 10 percent of what's going there Unfortunately. I know that the exact Drama happens for Real in our "MUSLIM WORLD" unfortunately too. But the difference between the western world and us, is that they "IN SOME HOW" get the chance to Document some, or more than that with their honest Journalists. Those ones, who're ready for facing death during  recording life's true event. Those journalists, we don't have enough of them unfortunately. Sometimes, in our eastern "Arabic and Islamic World" countries jails, maybe it happens some events that are more awful than what Human Rise Watch can observe. The exact humiliation, the same harmful, the same awful treatments, the same human abusing, men rapes uncounted crimes, and the same hidden and unknown jail assassinations toward those civil people... what a BIG SHAME

 And the worst part of all of it is, that there's nothing happening to change the whole ugly situations which going on inside our Countries. No one talks, no one dares to give a bit energy "to comment on" about what we all know is going inside those jails, all over every country of our eastern Arab and Islamic lands. No one bothers Himself or Herself to write about all injustice events, which are going on daily inside those prisons. No one dares to speak loud, to make His or Her voice heard, telling all what is happening whether it was inside "GUANTANAMO" pay, inside "ABU GHURAIB" at Iraq, or even another HELL in somewhere else. Whether inside the same mentioned countries, or inside this bitty dirty world. No one takes a real action to make the difference that all of us waiting for. No one adopts any kind of actions at all. That's the very ugly truth and problem of humanity these days. No one at all, do something about that "UNFAIR" Historical crimes inside jails, that most of it goes against what I call: "Islamo Phopia" which is that western governments, eastern governments, including Arab and Islamic countries governments are all in the same foot in the same war against the real soul of our ISLAM. Unfortunately. While our Islam is the most peaceful religion across the globe, and no one notice that. WHAT A SHAME

Maybe if I were speaking ENGLISH fluently, grown enough, and have an important position, maybe I would willingly talk louder and write non stop about more things in this case or I can say: in those injustice and non-closed cases. I mean case like this, that holds more Issues about Human's "UnJustice Crimes" that governments do days and nights, all over the years, with No ONE SINGLE observation against them.. But unlucky me, seems I don't speak Foreign languages as much as I want to. Also I have no position that allows me to make my voice HEARD... but never mind, I may one day own that "HEARD VOICE" cause as long as I believe in me, there's always a way to express what I think, and what I ironically believe in through my words

I know that the only place I've got right now to speak up and put up my thoughts, my theories, and my beliefs" is right here. On this "web-page" or right there, on my other networks pages. Like facebook, or other web journals I own. Those web pages, I concern All together like little spaces call: "Journal" Or "Written Notes" from my heart, mind and soul.. I believe that my words are very meaningful, very valueable, and powerful ones, because they always tell the truth. Tell something I see, something I witness, or something happens with me in person. Something that I am sure it's worthy to tell about

As I am sure that one soon day I will own my position to help those ones who're in need to a hand for help, to share others who believe "change" and do the changes we need in politics, financial, and humanity in this world.. I am sure the change we're all thirsty for, and waiting for, will happen in one way or another. I am sure that one soon day, every difficult situation that seems it needs a miracle to solve, will be solved God Willing. Whether by ME or by someone like me, who cares enough. I believe in that day to become soon God Willing. To use my voice for the right reasons, defending on those cases I care about

I wish one soon day, to find some stories, some thoughts from friends, or some events from those readers whom are here just tourists, taking a look around my blog, to make us share ideas, talking about what I wrote.. In the way of  finding someone to tell me, or even mail me more stories about "prison-experience" stories. Whether from books, from life experiences, from true events, from documentary programs, TV shows or even from movies. I don't mind to hear about it. As I don't mind to know what's or what was all about. Maybe in some how we'll benefit humanity with getting back to their kindness in somehow

Still Remember that novel by Dr. Shereef Hatatah, called "Al Eien Zatel Jifn El ma3deny" telling us about his experience inside Egyptian Military Prison. Which he was in. It was so painful experience for him, as it was for his family and friends. I remember also what happened 2006 to the Iraqi President Saddam Hussein by American Government when they excused him in a Holly Eid day. In  one of our TWO special Islamic Days in the entire year!!! giving no respect to all Muslim nations. What A dirty move to make. Killing a person on special holly Day's Morning.. the Aladh-ha Eid day early morning, pretending that everythIng had done by Iraqi hands, while it was not. Still holding that painful memory in my heart. Actually me and my twin still not celebrating the Eid Al- Adha day since then. It turned to be A Mourney for us. As I still remember what happening in Palestine.  In our holy lands, in our Occupied priceless Palestine, especially what's going on inside THE ISRAELI OCCUPATION GOVERNMENT JAILS. Sure what we know or see or even hear about is 1 of a Million things that really going on over there

Oh God how can a normal person holds on all of these inside his heart and pretend that everything is okay????  How can we keep waking up, going to school, drinking, eating, sleeping, and repeating the circle again, like having a normal days?????? Sometimes I surprise myself, asking how can I bear all these, and go through my day, having my exams, and taking my lectures, while every cell inside me bleeding for those precious ones over there living in hell in everywhere????? Also wonder when same things happens in a lot of countries in our Islamic world .. Like what's going on in Kashmir District, in Kosovo, in USA itself, in China, in several countries that claims democracy, whether in western part of this world, or in farther eastern like what's going on inside Third world countries Governments. Especially in my country region "YEMEN" without anything calls intervention comes from anywhere to rescue those innocent ones. I think without doubt there's a lot of unfair, dark, dirty things, and under platform hidden crimes that are happening right now in somewhere inside this country, while I am writing these words of mine on this blog. Things that might kill hope, leave you in doubt, and make you speechless. Things that make you feel weakness inside because you can't do anything for those people whom are suffering the most. Things may show you how disability you're, standing by doing nothing to those people whom putted unfairly inside jails, all over the world wide

Oh God, I can do nothing but praying for all of those ones, whom their souls are bleeding, with those injustice situations they live with, handling with hope sometimes, and some others giving all hope away. Oh Lord!!! be with them, give them enough strength to make them bear what they're going through. Oh Lord!!! please, be with those people whom did nothing to deserve anything of what's going with them???? Oh Lord, please stand by those, whom are almost giving up, and can't deal anymore with any thing of all harmful they're being treated by???? Oh Lord, please stand by those, whom are suffering with being in jails Unfairly

AMEN

**

I remember that great movie I watched. It was called: "The Last Castle" by: Robert Redford. I think it was one of the most painful movies i have ever saw. The issue that I wanted to put under scoop here today is wondering about "What Is Going On Behind Bars?" What's going on inside prisons? What's going on beyond those "Hell's" walls? Like wondering about what's going on inside "ABU GHREIB"? What's going on inside "THE GUANTANAMO PAY"? What's really going on right there, right now???????
And of course wondering about what's going on right now right here in Yemen Government's jails? or even wondering about what's going on down there in our "Arab", "Islamic", "Eastern", or other Third world countries Dark Jails????? I'm pretty sure a lot of horrible, and shocked dirty things go on inside all

In my opinion, I think it's fair enough to ask about what those Governments do to those innocent PRISONERS? What those foreign Governments do to our innocent Muslim, or Arab people inside their "RED LINES PLACES" like those DARK HOLES places??? It's something we can't just ignore and go through our lives. It's something can't be forgettable so easy. It's something we have to document it, to let the world know and see how awful it's. It's something that we have to stand together against it. All of us, to face it, to talk about it, to keep telling all nations about it, doing anything and everything it coasts to help to end it.

It's something that had happened and still happening inside our countries jails, a lot of unfair things that people getting harm from, or sometimes die by. It's like those things, events, documentary videos, and real people's life-stories we all knew about and in some how chose to don't talk, or face, for a long time. It's like somethings we see on Al-Jazeera, daily. Or other trustful channels and choose to ignore, like nothing happened. Some other times, it's about things we can not even imagine how it would be like, killing a person in every single moment inside those places. How would be like, beating, humiliating and torturing people without any reasons, but being "A RELIGEOUS MUSLIM", or being an "ON TIME PRAYER KEEPER MUSLIM".. or being a "HONEST MUSLIM" who annoying the western governments with his straightness!!! So it decides to him in jail, with faking some unbelievable evidences against him.. Like what happened and still happening with Aljazeera Channel "STAFF" .. It's something we sometimes wonder and say: How could be possible that we still see things like, "treating people like slaves" with no mercy, while we live in 21st Century?????? How?????? It's really something make you totally confused

What A SHAMEFUL, HORRIBLE, AWFUL, and unlimited DISGUSTING behaviors, with the same injustice cases inside prisons in everywhere, whether nowadays or in past time. Whether in east, in central, or in west. After all, seems that movie left a very effective thoughts inside me, inspired me to write this article today, and answered me for a lot of questions that I was keeping inside me, questions I was always wondering about between me and myself quietly. And some of those questions was saying

Why we see ex prisoners tend to be more criminal after they come back, mixing with their communities?? Why after a while of people spending time in jails, with a simple crimes, they go back their with big ones?? Why after they come out, sometimes after few years, sometimes after so much years, or sometimes after months, paying their debt back to their communities, why a lot of them get out with getting more criminal minds, more murderer experiences, more monster souls and with getting more awful attitudes toward peoples? Why they often tend to be worse than before?? Why they often go back to jail so quick?? I was wondering about all those things since a while, and "In Hell" answered me tonight

I admit that in somehow that movie made me feel so grateful, because I have no experience with that kind of life. And imaging being in that side of life made me appreciate my life, specially my "FREEDOM" so much. It made me appreciate everything I have, even the little ones. It encouraged me to try to do more than Pray for those people and to keep remembering their cases. Ad I promise that I will always talk about that kind of cases. Giving my attention to those issues, staying on the right side on the road. Keep writing about what matters the most

 I will keep my faith that one soon day things will start to change, and by chasing my dreams, they will all come true. I will keep believing that the NEW DAY will come, and everything will be right as it's suppose to be. Yes, I believe that our Tomorrow will  be better than our Today.. Tomorrow will come, bringing a lot of changes, inside us, as human beings. I will keep believing that Our future will be better than Our present. And I will keep believing that Our tomorrow will be with full of hope "incha Allah"God Willing

Sam BinZoa

Sana'a – Yemen

December - 23th- 2009

" منـاجـاة الـى مــولاي "

مناجاتي إلى حبيبي..
مناجاتي إلى سيدي ومولاي.



يــــــا رب
لك الحمد ولك الشكر على جميع نعمك
الظاهرة منها وكـــذا البـاطنــة

ربــــــــاه
أحتــاج دوماإلى حبــك فأحبنــي
أحتاج دوماً إلى رضــاك فارض عنــي
أحتــاج دوما إلى ستــرك فاسترني

إلــهــــي..
إكفني بما عندك عما عند عبادك
لا تتخـل عنـي يا سيــدي ويا مـولاي
يا من جل جـلاله,وحسنت أسماؤه ,وعظمـت قــدرته ,وعــز شـــأنــه
لا تكلني إلى نفسي طرفـة عين ولا أقـل من ذلك يا أرحــم الــراحميـــن

إلـهـــي ..
أحتاج إلى رعايتك فارعني
أحتاج إلى حمايتك فاحمني
من شر نفسي ومن شر خلقك.. فاحمني
أحتاج إلى معيتـــك فكن معي..
كن معي يا مـــولاي في كل أمـــــوري

ربــــاه
ليس لي غنى عنك..
فأنت إلهي ومعبودي,
خالقي ومصوري في أحسن صورة
أنت سيدي ومولاي..
رازقي و وكيلي,
ولي أمري وموجدي من العدم
فلك حمدي وشكري موصولاً بامتنانـــي
فلك الحمد يا خالقي حمدا كثيرا يليق بجلالك,
ولك الشكر يارب شكراًكثيراطيبا كما ينبغي لجلال وجهك وعظيم سلطانك

إلــهــي..
اجعلني ممن تنظر إليهم فتضحك لهم
و تحبهم و.. دوماً ترعاهـم
تعلمهم , ترزقهم , توفقهم, تحميهم و تحرصهم بعينك التي لاتغفو ولا تنام

أيــا خالقـاه..
اجعلني ممن تهذب لهم نفوسهم وتربيها..
وتصلح لهم قلوبهم وتنقيها
وتجمل لهم أرواحهم وتحليها..
وتعافي لهم أجسادهم وتقويها..
وتطيب لهم حياتهم بذكرك وتزينها

اجعلني يا مولاي من هؤلاء
ممن تغمرهم بلطفك وعفوك وتسعدهم بدخول جنانك..
وتكرمهــــم برفقـــة نبيهم "محمد" صلى اللـــه عليه وسلم
و تقـــر أعينهـــم بلــــذة النظــــر إلى وجهــــك الكريــــــم

ربــــــاه
أيـــا حبيبــاه
أيـــا سيــداه
ظلمت نفسي كثيرا
فاغفرلي واسترني
علمني وأكرمني
عافني وأهدني واعف عني

اللهـم ربي
بحبك لي سامحني
بحبك لي ارحمني
بحبك لي ارض عني
بحبك لي ارفع شأنــي..
بحبك لي تغاض عن زلاتي
بحبك لي قـــوّ إيمـــاني..
بحبك لي أحســن خــاتمتي
بحبك لي أهدني وثبتني على دينـي وحجـابـي واصلح شأنـي
بحبك لي يســر سؤالي.. و ونـــّس فــي القبــر وحـدتــي
بحبك لي أبعدني عن سعير نارك وأدخلني جـنـــــانــك
بحبك لي قـــر عـينــي بالنظر إلى وجهــــك الكـــريــم
بحبك لي احمني وجميع من أحب من شرور خلقك وشرور القضاء والقدر
بحبك لي قربني إليـــك نجوى.. واجعل غايتي رضــــــــاك
بحبك لي بلغني منازل العـليّـيـــن في الدنيـــا وفي الآخـرة
بحبك لي اشغلني بطــاعتك.. وسلمنــي صحيفتي بيمينـــي
بحبك لي ارزقني ربــــــاه الحكمــــة وفصـــــل الخطـــاب
بحبك لي حبب في خلقـــك في الملأ الأعلى و في الأرض
بحبك لي ربــــــاه سهـــل لـي حـفــظ "القـــرآن الكـــــريم"
بحبك لي ربـــي أعنــي علـى ذكـرك وشكــرك وحســن عبـادتـك
بحبك لي ربــي استجب دعــــــواتـــي , وتقبــل سؤلي ومناجــاتي

اللهــــــم آميـــــن
اللهـــــــم آميـــــــــن

         



صنـعـــــــاء
17 كانون الأول / ديسمبر 2009

The Adventure of Writting In English

I believe that writing is a gift

As usual, I used to prepare my journal, when i want to put an idea for discussion. I used to do that for a long time. It makes writing issue easier for me! Like writing what is on my mind, putting it on paper first, before putting it on my blog... Which means that I choose the subject first, then write my thoughts about it next, then bring what I've done towards that chosen subject, the "last edition" of my journal hand writing papers.. Bringing my final work here after that. But today I think I'm going to break that rule, trying to start typing instead of writing by my hand first, as I used to do with all my Notes on my FB.. Although I know Pen used to help me during my writing time, making thoughts fall like rain, but, seems I'm going to try being type girl today! Which means I'm typing directly what's comes in to my head straightly, without preparing, without asking my sister to do her job as an Editor before taking the last step, releasing the article on the blog. Today, I'm typing what I'm thinking of right now, so, I think you will forgive me for the spelling mistakes. Let's see what will happen, let's see what will I do, just hope God Helps me a lot AMEN

NUMBER 7
*I adore number 7, I don't know why, just adore it so very much, maybe because of how it's look like! maybe because it's design looks like the shortage simple of Africa!  Seven!! I don't know why that number attracts me a lot, sometimes I find myself booking my flight on days that contains number SEVEN like the seventh, the seventeens, the twenty sevens.. etc! Some other times, if I'm lucky and we travel in summer time, I like to book on the Seventh month itself, choosing JULY!! as the DATE we leave or come back.. I feel I'm insanely in love with Number seven! Because I feel it's so close to my heart


*THE IDENTITY
Sometimes I find myself need to talk about the word of "IDENTITY".. Like to understand what's that word means?, From where that connection would come???? The connection that people feel towards their countries.. From where they get that strong feelings they carry inside & sometimes they die for??? Is that something to earn from earth???, Is that something to get from parents genetically??? or it's something you get it naturally from God. Is identity means the place which I born, or the place which I raised in??? or means only the passport that I hold, the papers that allows me travel freely from country to another??? I really don't understand. what the word of IDENTITY means???? Is that means the ethnicity of me???? or it relates with come the color of my skin???? Or maybe the language I speak, or the Religion I believe, or the background I come from. I really need to know that well, I truly need to learn that lesson of life so well, to be able to understand a lot of things that makes me so confused after that. I need to educate myself about this issue, from where those strong emotions come from???? those very strong connection between person and his/her Identity, from where that strong feelings come or when will start inside the person????.. From where it begins??? QUESTIONS like these come always over my head and make me stuck with my mind

Sometimes I start wondering: "Who Honestly am I?" Am I  Egyptian? Because that's the only land and people I took my first steps n life with??? As they're the most well known people I can tell about so well, In my earlier childhood years, I remember there was nothing more than Egypt. Then Djibouti, then Italy, then the United States. And Yemen finally. I didn't Know about Yemen til so late. No one told me who honestly I'm. I was kid, and the ID was not so big deal in my family. Sometimes I ask myself Where i Truly belong to???? Where I exactly belong????

Some other times I wonder: Asking myself "Which is stronger, to Identify myself according to my race, as an Arabian or to Identify myself according to my religion as a Muslim, Christian, Jewish, or Buddish. Or it's ?????better to be just human beings without ID's. What Exactly my Values are???  to make me defend strongly til the day I die???  What exactly my Moralities are to keep them inside me, even if  I lost for the sake of them everything I had or everyone I loved???? What my Goals are to live for, die for, and protect??? What's my REAL Passion to follow, NO MATTER WHAT I'll face for???

Because a lot of times I feel myself wondering and wondering with no results to know who's this girl???? ME???? or let's say: to know Who's this or that person really????? .. A lot of times I question myself.Actually Questions come from long dialogue that I have with myself, I mean: Who's me???? - Who are you?????, what's my real Identity????? Where I belong to????? What's yours????? Where do you think you belong??? What's the real importance of someone as a person???? to belong to somewhere or to hold something valuable like holding a great beliefs, religion, ethics, or life MOTO's. What matters the most, to be just what you want to be, or to be what people want to be????? To belong to the land or to belong to the nation?????? to belong to some races more than the others, because of bla bla bla, or to belong to what you've been raised to believe in????? Seriously!!! What matters the most???? I want to know???? What's the difference between being white or being black?, or even mixed????? What's the difference between being tall or being short????? being fat or being thin?????  being Old or being Young?????? being woman being man????? being African, Asian, Europian, Northern American, Southern American, Australian, Native Indian????????? Or even Mixed race??????? .. What's the bottom line of all that????? what's the real point behind all that????? Because I don't think that I'm well known of this Issue???? is there some fave ration between this or that for example????? .. Oh!! yes,without doubt there is. Sure there's but I don't know

Well, I think being different is not something should make our life Complicated. As it's not something to turn to become Racial for. People in this life are getting tough, Bad attitudes are growing so fast. There's no one has the right to humiliate any human being, or even make him/her feel less than others.. NO, NO, NO!! not at all... That's how I've been raised by dad, my grandpa, and school

Difference is just a Miracle and suppose to concerned as a grace from Our Creator Allah (SWT) to recognize each other, to accept each other as we're, to mix with each other, to treat each other well, and to take a life lessons from each other, and then start to enjoy with our journey on this earth.. So, it means there's No favorable between this or that, between you and me, between he and she, between Latin and Chinese, between these race or those one, between Indian and African, between Arabian and European, between black and white, between blond and brown, between rich-ones and poor ones, between scientific  Illiteracy, we all are human beings .. and being a human is enough to be proud at

We all complete each-other. sometimes I'm not sure if there's people on the global networks, whom could read this, even though I can measure that people are millions of millions online. I'm not sure if there would be  possible, some of those people would read, get the point I'm shooting of, or even would take a look of my Journal.. But I'm full of hope that some will do!!!! Whether it would happen or not, it's my pleasure to put my thoughts down online!! So, it doesn't matter.. I was just trying to let my voice be heard

I believe that there's some one in somewhere on sometime will do read or will take a look of these words, why?, because I believe in words. Yes, I do believe. because words are so precious to me. words are like jewelery to me. Or maybe more.. I remember there was a time, when a friend of mine, called Sam too,  told me, saying:. "WORDS CAN BUILD OR DESTROY MORE THAN MACHINES" I think I agree with him, 100% completely.. Some times I just hope to have a lot of readers, to find some one could listen or understand what's behind the lines, wish one day will have a lot of readers. Some viewers who's taking a look of what I'm writing.. Someone will be able to tell me her/his opinion of what I discuss. Someone who feel free to express her/his points & start discussion to exchange ideas.. It's kind of weird to crave readers already, while I'm all NEW here, new at blogging, new at this land, new at writing on public.. Unlike my FB which I always share my notes with my dearer friends.. It's kind of  Dreams to take this step on blogspot, kind of crazy thoughts, kind of funny either... to consider myself as A writer from now.. WOW!!! as an Author too!!! Why not???? At least its possible to me, as it will be a reality one soon day!!!! Maybe ver very soon!!! I'm sure GOD willing... Why won't we dream big??? Who knows when this soul will leave this body??? No one does... After all, I think I have something to say, as conclusion.. It's All about Seeking of a Platform... Yes, A platform for me, for my own freedom, for my own cage free Opinions, for my own Voice, to make it heard, to make it much understood, to make my own voice loud, reaching the sky... to say what I want to say.. To put which thoughts I want to put... To deliver my points without fears

For me, creating a blog and writing in public is not about seeking of "FAME " , Seeking attention, or looking for being well known on the global Internet Users... NO, NO, NO, Not at all.. Because I'm someone who believes that being more Famous is not Worthy, Never been once.. It's cute in some how, but still pointless for me.. Because I believe, actually not only me, all givers around the world do believe with me, that being famous may will take away persons freedom, personal life, and her/his privacy away, Maybe it looks like: kind of Magic or like Glowing level of life for some, but not for me... Because, It's not the Idea that  thousands or even millions of people know you, like you, adore you, or even consider you as a Role-model  for themselves or members of their families.. And according to that, they want to know every little details of your life, And that's not my Area.. Maybe its my own Philosophy that I believe.. Being a celeb is kind of life for Sale, BECAUSE you've to live without privacy at all... Maybe It's so sweet at the first, but in the End,it will be like: YOU AND YOUR LIFE IS FOR SALE... and I don't like to be FOR SALE

NO one likes to be for sale

Seems my first publishing in English language is not that much bad as I thought, because this whole essay was "about taking the first step after School graduation, returning to "WRITING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE" I hope these words take the chance, to be simple, attractive and worthy reading, I know it needs a little bit of professional help of course, but It's still great for me, after being away from writing in English or French!!! It's like when you feel you need to prove for yourself that you still doing good... Thank GOD



Sam BinZoa
Sana'a- Yemen
Dec, 12th 2009